Kiss N Tell Confessions
My "walk on the wild side" is over, mostly. I am slowly putting my life back together after two years of sex addiction and sexual abuse. I will still make mistakes. I will probably have sex with people I shouldn't in places I shouldn't. My story is one of pain, and courage, and the constant fight for survival and for happiness. You didn't think you had to fight for happiness, but sometimes, you do.
Contact me: kntconfessions@comcast.net
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Vacation Saga pt. 3
posted Mon, 06/15/09
Friday 6/12
As of Friday, I still don't have Internet. I am upset. My vacation was interrupted. On the other hand, I didn't have to miss work for the cable company's ridiculously ineffective service calls. I am angry because I don't feel like there was the sense of urgency, the sense of me being a valued customer, to work hard to get this resolved before the weekend! They promised to credit me for the days of service I missed, but that hardly seems like compensation at all.
It appears from what has been said that it is probably something in the wiring. I don't understand that, but it certainly seems like communication does not go out. I have TV, but I don't have On Demand, and I don't have cable Internet. So they set up an appointment on Monday with guys who, supposedly this time, can do wiring. I worry about this because, if it is the wiring, what damage might they do? Would I be liable? But by having cable hook-ups installed in the building, doesn't the apartment complex have an agreement with the cable company? Is this even something I should worry about? I pay all of these people, directly or indirectly, for a service I am not receiving!
I keep getting all of these offers from the phone company for cheaper high speed. I don't know enough to understand why highspeed through the phone lines would be possible, when previously that was the realm of dial-up. So I called. I asked some questions and was mostly satisfied with the answers. I desperately want Internet now, so I am trying to mediate desire with reason.
Now, if there was something wrong with the wiring, I don't know that the phone company would respond any better than the cable company has. I know in the past I have been happy with their phone service. It's very tempting.
When this is resolved, I will call them back and try to negotiate compensation. I think maybe they should offer me more than just credit. I think they should offer me a lower price for Internet service, if only for a period of time. There is a case I can make to show that this was more than just inconvenient. This interruption cost me money. We'll see if I can grow a set and explain all the ways; I will feel much better if I stand up for myself for a change.
1) I can remote-access my job, and this interruption has cost me productivity.
2) I pay for applications which I could not access for 6-7 days. They won't credit me for the days I missed because I didn't have Internet.
3) I pay my bills online, and this interruption could cost me late fees.
4) I had to take time out of work to be here for the service calls.
5) I have auctions online, so I lost business because I couldn't access my email.
Each one of these things is a little fudge of the truth, but not actually a lie. Each is a valid reason for me to be pissed off. It amazes me to what extent I have become reliant on Internet access. For bills, for games, for shopping, for information, and for certain types of contact with the outside world. I've read books, I've watched TV, I went to see a movie, I went shopping, I cleaned. It's too hot and humid for me to do anything outside; my skin couldn't take the sun and the heat. Too much shopping leads to spending money I can't afford to spend. Movies aren't free, either, although I found a theater in a less affluent part of town with slightly better prices. Now, the books part... I have books I always meant to read, and now I can. The boys are getting so much attention that I am sure they will hate for me to go back to work.
D let me use his computer. I went over there to play a little World of Warcraft. I did my auctions and 5 of my daily quests. It gave me a little comfort, but I also left feeling pathetic and alone. I get lonely sometimes. I have isolated myself so completely due to fear and pain. I am afraid to trust anyone, but I can't go on like this forever. I just don't know how to change this, how to open the doors of this fortress. I'm safe. I'm not happy, but I'm safe. I guess I will have to get tired of being safe.
Sometimes, when I am feeling sorry for myself, I wonder what I am doing all of this for. I no longer have the desire, probably not the ability, to kill myself. (I have to be around for at least 16 to 20 years, because I made a commitment to spoil my boys for the rest of their lives.) It doesn't feel good to look at what I've made of my life and imagine this stretching before me indefinitely. But then I pick up and go on. Read my books, play my games, pet my kittens.
After I called and talked to the phone company salesman, I felt better. Because I did something. In the past, I wouldn't have called just to ask questions. OMG, talk to a person? But I did it, because I wanted to know, and I was proud of myself.
As of Friday, I still don't have Internet. I am upset. My vacation was interrupted. On the other hand, I didn't have to miss work for the cable company's ridiculously ineffective service calls. I am angry because I don't feel like there was the sense of urgency, the sense of me being a valued customer, to work hard to get this resolved before the weekend! They promised to credit me for the days of service I missed, but that hardly seems like compensation at all.
It appears from what has been said that it is probably something in the wiring. I don't understand that, but it certainly seems like communication does not go out. I have TV, but I don't have On Demand, and I don't have cable Internet. So they set up an appointment on Monday with guys who, supposedly this time, can do wiring. I worry about this because, if it is the wiring, what damage might they do? Would I be liable? But by having cable hook-ups installed in the building, doesn't the apartment complex have an agreement with the cable company? Is this even something I should worry about? I pay all of these people, directly or indirectly, for a service I am not receiving!
I keep getting all of these offers from the phone company for cheaper high speed. I don't know enough to understand why highspeed through the phone lines would be possible, when previously that was the realm of dial-up. So I called. I asked some questions and was mostly satisfied with the answers. I desperately want Internet now, so I am trying to mediate desire with reason.
Now, if there was something wrong with the wiring, I don't know that the phone company would respond any better than the cable company has. I know in the past I have been happy with their phone service. It's very tempting.
When this is resolved, I will call them back and try to negotiate compensation. I think maybe they should offer me more than just credit. I think they should offer me a lower price for Internet service, if only for a period of time. There is a case I can make to show that this was more than just inconvenient. This interruption cost me money. We'll see if I can grow a set and explain all the ways; I will feel much better if I stand up for myself for a change.
1) I can remote-access my job, and this interruption has cost me productivity.
2) I pay for applications which I could not access for 6-7 days. They won't credit me for the days I missed because I didn't have Internet.
3) I pay my bills online, and this interruption could cost me late fees.
4) I had to take time out of work to be here for the service calls.
5) I have auctions online, so I lost business because I couldn't access my email.
Each one of these things is a little fudge of the truth, but not actually a lie. Each is a valid reason for me to be pissed off. It amazes me to what extent I have become reliant on Internet access. For bills, for games, for shopping, for information, and for certain types of contact with the outside world. I've read books, I've watched TV, I went to see a movie, I went shopping, I cleaned. It's too hot and humid for me to do anything outside; my skin couldn't take the sun and the heat. Too much shopping leads to spending money I can't afford to spend. Movies aren't free, either, although I found a theater in a less affluent part of town with slightly better prices. Now, the books part... I have books I always meant to read, and now I can. The boys are getting so much attention that I am sure they will hate for me to go back to work.
D let me use his computer. I went over there to play a little World of Warcraft. I did my auctions and 5 of my daily quests. It gave me a little comfort, but I also left feeling pathetic and alone. I get lonely sometimes. I have isolated myself so completely due to fear and pain. I am afraid to trust anyone, but I can't go on like this forever. I just don't know how to change this, how to open the doors of this fortress. I'm safe. I'm not happy, but I'm safe. I guess I will have to get tired of being safe.
Sometimes, when I am feeling sorry for myself, I wonder what I am doing all of this for. I no longer have the desire, probably not the ability, to kill myself. (I have to be around for at least 16 to 20 years, because I made a commitment to spoil my boys for the rest of their lives.) It doesn't feel good to look at what I've made of my life and imagine this stretching before me indefinitely. But then I pick up and go on. Read my books, play my games, pet my kittens.
After I called and talked to the phone company salesman, I felt better. Because I did something. In the past, I wouldn't have called just to ask questions. OMG, talk to a person? But I did it, because I wanted to know, and I was proud of myself.
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